My son's one year birthday and reflections on the year
I know this will sound cliche or predicable or whatever, but I simply can't believe that my son will be one year old on Friday. It seems as though just yesterday I was carrying him home from the hospital in a green and orange striped hospital blanket listening to the sound of his breathing.
My son Rainer is just more than I could have ever imagined. He is vibrant, inquisitive, bright, funny, soulful... and mine. Well, as much as he can be anyone's. He truly is his own person, body and soul. I had been thinking about the connection of belonging and children one day after hearing so many moms in my circle of mommy friends refer to "my son" or "my daughter." I was thinking are they ever truly ours? I wrote this poem after thinking about all of this as he was sleeping for the first night in his own room.
2:06 AM
you are asleep
in the new room
across the hall
miles from me
while I caress the
impossibly flat shell
my belly
as
the great moon of your face
rises inside
the pool of my eyes
the minute you were
formed
a germ
floating in the
cosmic ocean
of my womb
you were
not mine
floating freely
you developed into
an element of the world
a fragmented
promise of yourself
surfacing ever so
gradually
away
from me
your mother
my child:
the prickly truth of
your becoming-
you were part of me
yet
never really were.
4/26/06
Well, until next time...
posted by Terri Muuss @ 5:31 PM
1 Comments:
Dear Terri,
What a great blog. I've never participated in one before, but this is so special. I lvoe the poem, especially the first stanza. YOu offer a feeling of being so far away,
"you are asleep
in the new room
across the hall
miles from me
while I caress the
impossibly flat shell
my belly
as
the great moon of your face
rises inside
the pool of my eyes
The juxiposition of the flat shell of belly (shell and bell) and the "great moon" rises inside the "pool of my eyes" is almost japanese in feeling and texture. He is both far away (the moon) and closer than ever (in your eyes) and also just across the hall. You've developed the images so that all of it is happening at once, and yet gives us the meaning, that longing of that which is of you but not you. Really wonderful.
Also, you look stunning. And why shouldn't you feel happy doing what is so necessary in this world - loving? Doing something else is simply that - not better, or more, or whatever, simply different parts of you expressed.
Anyway, so good to see the boy and you and I'll look at this frequently.
Much love,
veronica
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